


An Eggstraordinary Situation

by Yulicia



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Kylux eggstravaganza prompt fill, M/M, this is just cheese i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 06:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yulicia/pseuds/Yulicia
Summary: Ren was cursed. The universe clearly hated him. No one liked by the universe had ever failed to boil an egg this many times. Hux is going to be furious at the mess.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a prompt fill for the Kylux Eggstravaganza event that I naturally chose the fluffiest damn prompt available for. I've played rather fast and loose with characterisation for which I sincerely apologise.
> 
> prompt: Kylo can’t cook. But he gets a craving for egg salad sandwiches (like Leia used to make for him). Hux walks in on his 13th attempt at hard boiling: the kitchen’s a mess and it smells like sulphur. Hux would be mad (he hates egg salad… violently…), but the idea that his big strong roommate/boyfriend can’t boil an egg is enough to crack (heh) him up. It could devolve into a food fight or sexy times… 
> 
> Hope this is what the original poster of the prompt had in mind!

Ren wasn’t quite sure what had triggered his craving for his mother’s egg salad sandwich but whatever it was he hated it with a fiery passion. He’d been standing in the kitchen for what could only have been _hours_ trying to hard boil an egg. What should have been a reasonably easy task had turned into a several hour long saga. None of the eggs wanted to cooperate with him whatsoever.

The first egg he’d tried to hard boil had barely been cooked when he took it out of the pan and cracked into it. The still-liquid egg white and yolk had gone _everywhere._ The floor was still slightly wet from the residue he’d missed when frantically (and admittedly, angrily) attempting to clean it up.

 _It’s okay_ , he’d reasoned with himself, _not everyone gets things right on the first try._ Which while reasonably true, had turned into a quite repetitive pattern because every single time he tried to boil an egg there was something infuriatingly wrong with it. This one was too runny, this one too soft, this one squirted yellow yolk all over his new white shirt because while the outside had taken the order to cook properly; the inside had apparently missed the memo. He was about at his wits end.

The kitchen was a mess, too. There were eggshells littering the counter like broken mirror pieces, the lettuce he’d managed to prepare and dress while his second failed egg “cooked” was turning soggy from the mayo, there was eggwhite all over the counter and the whole place just reeked of sulphur.

Ren growled, leaning back against the counter and looking at the carnage he’d created. Why couldn’t he do it? Why was this so hard? Surely he must be cursed; no curse-free individual has had this many eggs collapse on them before. He wasn’t sure if the sandwich was worth it anymore.

There was a sound of the apartment door opening.

“Ren, I’m home!” Hux called from the front door, his voice muffled by the distance. Ren heard the thud of his bag hitting the floor and the jingle of the keys hitting the bowl by the door they were kept in.

_Oh no._

Hux couldn’t see this! He couldn’t! He hated eggs, he hated messes and surely now he’d hate Ren!

Ren began to panic, frantically attempting to sweep all of the egg shells into a pile so he could throw them into the garbage can. He’d just managed to get the lid open when footsteps rounded the corner.

“What are you doing?” Hux asked. He was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and his expression curious.

Ren dumped the shells into the trash and quickly shut the lid, “Nothing.”

“Mhmm,” Hux hummed, “Then why does it smell terrible in here?”

“What smell, what do you mean?” Ren asked innocently, stepping around the kitchen island towards Hux to great him with a kiss on the cheek. He sincerely hoped that Hux wouldn’t realise the gesture was just to block his view into the kitchen. There was still a significant mess of yolk on the floor just out of sight.

“You’re awfully sweet today, what are you hiding?” Hux said, dipped around Ren to walk into the kitchen. Damn it! He was sure that would work; Hux usually melted when he was spontaneously romantic.

“No don’t go—“ Ren started to protest, watching Hux see the mess as if in slow motion.

“Ren, what the hell?!” Hux exclaimed.

“…in there,” Ren finished, looking at his shoes dejectedly.

“Why is there yolk all over the floor?” Hux demanded, gesturing wildly to said mess.

“I can explain.”

Hux looked at him expectantly, crossing his arms impatiently.

Ren sighed, “I was trying to boil and egg to make an egg sandwich and it just wouldn’t work! Every time I tried it would just fall apart. I tried cleaning up before you got here, I swear,” he reassured Hux, hoping to placate his wrath.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Hux’s face, “You couldn’t boil an egg?”

Ren nodded, looking anywhere but Hux.

“What attempt were you on?” Hux asked.

“Thirteen,” Ren replied hesitantly, unsure of how Hux would react to his answer. Ren let his hair fall in his face, covering his eyes.

To Ren’s surprise Hux just started laughing, truly laughing. He laughed in a way that Ren had never seen before; doubling over and cackling. Hux’s laughter filled the kitchen, and Ren found himself laughing nervously along with him.

“You’re not angry?” Ren asked, baffled.

Hux looked up, his eyes glistening with tears of mirth, “Oh no I’m furious, our apartment is going to smell like this for days, but just the thought that you – six foot two, built like a brick house – couldn’t boil an egg is somehow funnier than anything I’ve ever heard.”

Ren scowled, “Thanks Hux, you didn’t have to be a dick about it,” he grumbled.

Hux’s expression immediately sobered, “I’m sorry, but you do have to admit it’s kind of funny?”

Ren thought about it for a moment. He did suppose that if it had been anyone but him he probably would have laughed too. If it had been Hux in his position he _definitely_ would’ve laughed. Just imaging the uptight barrister who was always infuriatingly put together in a mess of eggs was making him smile.

“See?” Hux prompted, noticing the smile creeping onto Ren’s face.

“I guess you’re right,” Ren conceded.

Hux huffed in that haughty way he always did, “I usually am,” there was a pause as Hux thought, “How about I boil the egg for you?”

Ren was taken aback, “But you hate eggs?”

Hux shrugged, “But you like them and it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

Ren’s chest swelled with something he wasn’t sure how to name, “God, I love you.”

“I’m just making you an egg, Ren, no need to be dramatic,” Hux said, rolling up his sleeve and starting to boil the water in the pot, “But I know.”

“And,” Hux continued, spinning to look at Ren directly in the eyes, “I know a few things you could do to express your gratitude later,” he said, a sly smile on his features.

Ren immediately lost his appetite for food, his taste buds immediately usurped by a hunger for something else. Ren stepped forward, surging towards Hux until he was barely centimetres from his face, “Fuck the egg, I’ll thank you now,” he said, gripping at Hux’s waist, pressing him against the counter.

“At least you know you can succeed on this front,” Hux quipped, knocking his nose against Ren’s.

“Hux, do you ever shut up?”

Hux smirked, “I suppose not. How about you shut me up instead?”

“Gladly,” Ren purred, the egg sandwich long forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I'm stardestroyervigilance on tumblr!


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